I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
