69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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