I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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