Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
