Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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