lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
