My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
