I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
