Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My bed smells like the plague
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
