What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
