So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
