i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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