I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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