dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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