I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
