She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
