Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize