You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
