Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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