I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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