Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize