Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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