so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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