just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
