like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I intend to get homeless drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
