Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
its not stalking. its research.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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