he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
