Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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