And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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