So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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