So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
