May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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