Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
