Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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