just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
