areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
