i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
