He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
