Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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