Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
