question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
