i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
