Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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