Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
