a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
