He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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