well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
