So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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