is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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