Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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