i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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