i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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