More tranny stories later!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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