she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
