Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
