next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
