I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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