I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize