Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
