He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
