this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
