he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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