I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
