There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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