Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
