when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
