I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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