it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
